Guys, we've been facebook crazy! I make up for it with a year of haiku.

Toni and I feel a little bit sorry about not blogging in awhile.
We don't feel THAT sorry, because so few people read our blog.
LOTS of people read our facebook pages, though. So there.

Anyways, I keep a little notebook for silly haiku I think up while I should be using brainpower to solve world hunger and global warming problems. I thought, since a whole year has passed, I'd share them with you. To be true to the pages, I have decided to include them exactly as written down in the book. This may mean that some of them make absolutely no sense. Because my brain works in mysterious ways. Or stupid ones. Also true.

Enjoy my last year in haiku...

For fun, for profit?
For neurons unlike lemmings
I could watch TV

First heartbeat now breathe
Baby's eyes open to see
One and one is three

Blue ripple white cap
Dark and deep but light and green
Flow river flow spring

Beaker test tube flask
All the glassware in the world
Break walls smash theories

Fish, liver, rat bits
It all grinds up just the same
Maybe not the taste

Angry so angry
Burning white hot blazing rage
Peanut butter toast

Feel like it's easy
Prance through meadow watch you toil
Someone deflate me

Sneaking up on toads
Are you receiving answers?
We wear tinfoil hats

All the trees are gone
So dark the soil they bleed out
Exsanguination

Rain drops on the path
Gritty sand and barefoot rocks
Her way is not clear

Parched desert camel
Sticky eyes and sandy tongue
Shake your hula hips

Sunshine electrons
Nanotech smells like cedar
Don't be negative

Twirling tango toes
Dance to success drink to luck
Eureka ballroom

Heavy eyes slow brain
Open wide for magic sand
Feel the burden lift

Herd snap dragons
I am a mighty spring knight
They breathe fragrant fire

Pictures hung on walls
Great tree roots tight in the dirt
Home, home on the strange

Uneasy tummy
Feeling guilty telling lies
Luckily it's gas

Speak sweet listen now
They think we're up to something
But I will bite them

Complicates mazes
Go too deep too wrong and lost
There's got to be light

Tiny twinkling star
Fierce fusion flame fantastic
Where Adams come from

Rested waiting fly
No time for things sensible
The lemurs are coming

Gloomy skyless day
Gray clouds gray trees gray world gray
Find some sunshine

Penetrating light
Flicker twitch and glowing blue
It hums and it hums

I will not be mauled
I will chase and pounce and kill
I will be lion

Forever seconds
Waiting tick waiting tick wait
Eternity now

Philosopher's stone
Microbiologist too
Turn bread into mold

Summer haze blue smoke
White light red flames forest fire
Go fourth of July

Sand in toes up shorts
See the hit dive down return
Gritty nerve tastes sweet

Fearing combustion
Regret and indecision
Lighter fluid guilt

Black plaque festering
Does it grow beneath my skin?
Someone feed my cat

Brave little cream puff
Stand up be strong cry all night
We all get eaten

I scoff at the box
Irresponsibly silly
Walrus dance party

Restless heart feels caught
I dreamt I was not running
Now I'm so tired

They build big buildings
They destroy dwarfing forests
They go extinct too

Cloudy chariots
Beating hooves of rain descend
Thunderous this track

Write sing paint create
All these great ideas lost
The curse of the muse

It's the hollow eyes
Honesty of innocence
No more tears to eat

Polluter's false truth
Geological time grail
Dinosaurs go first

Just stop yelling please
Let's have silence all alone
I like quiet fun

Et tu Brute stabbed
It stings in the face my friend
But worse in the back

Friday night freedom
Too soon Sunday shackles tight
With dead weight I'll drown

Surf the internet
Water water everywhere
Too much thought to think

Snowflake number one
This one is easy to count
Now it's time to nap

Run walk play sports swim
Fitness healthy exercise
Mmm potatoe chips

Oh man oh man eeeeee
It's almost time for pumpkins
Paint my face ready

I have the sickness
Sharp pains abdomen implodes
Savage snack attack

Stay busy silly
Boredom's one claw waits sneaky
Raptors ate my brain

Spend so long doing
Thinking going forgetting
I dreamt the world real

Amateurish boob
Everybody likes cleavage
Art is natural

Sell the one true God
Advertise commercialize
Indescent from cross

I smell cheap plastic
I smell synthetic spices
I smell Christmas cheer

Beautiful blanket
Brilliant white snow snuggles Earth
Covers all the poop

I spy with my eye
Some perfluorokerosene
My job rocks your socks

Abuse your others
Say nothing when you're abused
Fragile harmony

Barf barf barfy barf
Barf barf barf barfarama
Barfy barf barf barf

Delicately perched
Dainty wings flutter unsure
Magpie eats squirrel

Don't breathe in hold out
Flee with downy arms held up
It's so freakin' cold

Relax and slow down
Give up on the world get peace
As real as you want

Late Friday sunshine
You travel on the dark don't
Let me down again

Productive people
Busy bees make more honey
Hornets bother Brad

Only when it's night
In the moonlight zombies might
Eat your left and right

Melted trickling
Sunbeams on glassy surface
My eyes are frozen

Still waiting for it
Warm breezes blow through nothing
Bring on some new buds

Blink once from darkness
Feel warmth finally breathe
I migrated too

Pose occupancy
Ponder putting things in place
When they don't belong

From the universe
Permission to be honest
Even to yourself

The truth is muddy
Coating eyes and turning tongues
We see shapes spit lies

Sometimes branches break
Falling from trees long standing
And they still reach out

I want to make noise
Entropic good vibrations
Drums disorder me

Communication
Wave your opposable thumbs
And grunt more it helps

It snows in movies
Dramatic slow motion fakes
Just like the kisses

Test me so I pass
Ambiguous life moment
Fail me it's freedom

I am not sorry
You can't make me like you
Pottery you suck

Thank you pottery
There are worse things than clay pots
They are all the same

Body a la morgue
The cause of death was sameness
You change or you pie

Bitten never born
Moonlight reflects off a horn
Rare wereunicorn

Convoluted speech
Strain to make sense of circles
Say less sound louder

Swallowed a hamster
Never ending snot river
Definately sick

Vacancy upstairs
Open concept cranium
No smoking allowed

Gladiator crouch
Circle the GC-MS
Hand to can combat

Canadian spring
Cold clouds some snow freezing rain
Go to Mexico

Relax in the sun
Worry less about cancer
Warm up to chill out

Lose a piece of you
But souls are totipotent
Grow back a fresh start

Impossible fluff
Get all pretty if you want
We lick our own butts

We will save the world
Extra ordinary us
One day at a time

Oh man oh man oh man

I have figured out something we can do, Toni.
You are going to say no.
You are going to hate me.

http://www.destinationgrandcanyon.com/skywalk.html

We have to do this.

Hey Roz, I have a great idea. Let's walk for 7 hours for approx 42.1 km. On cobblestone. :)

One year ago....

Extreme curling?

People of the world who read our blog!

(Actually - there's been a lot less readership these days. Toni, we need to decide what our next crazy thing is so that people come back to the blog and shower us with comments again...)

I promise to soon (or Toni will) post pictures from our curling adventures once I get permission from our buddies. We had an excellent time dressing up in our Vegas costumes, hanging out with our husbands, and drinking a little hops and barley juice. Oh, and curling. We did curl a little bit. I think you can still call it curling, there were rocks on the ice and we slid them around.

I also thought we'd try the story game suggested previously. So, I will give you all a starter sentence, and the next person comments with the second line of the story. YOU CAN ONLY ADD ONE SENTENCE at a time, although after someone else comments, feel free to add another line. Please, restrain yourselves from taking the fast bus to gutter land.

A blog story by Roz, Toni and the friendship team:

It's hard to describe how it feels when these sorts of things happen.

Lessons in humility!

There are lots of things I'm not innately good at.
Today the list is longer.

I went to my first pottery class last night, and I do not understand yet how to make things go. I'm so sorry to Tara for having to sit next to me while I shot death rays at my lump of clay. All in all, I'm sure I could have fun making ash trays and pencil holders, but I do not promise anything spectacular.

So, you are all getting stubby cylinders for Christmas! They can be useful in many ways. They could hold cat treats. Or juice. Or pipe cleaners. Or uranium. They can be as full of imagination as you are!

But wait, there's more!
With this limited time offer of a poorly molded, fat little tub of clay, you could also get complimentary noise! I will come over to your place and using an elaborate set up of your most precious pots and pans, practise drumming for you - free of charge!

Sometimes I'm suprised I have so many friends.
Roz

The Ballad of Simon and Meetoo

You wouldn’t guess
from their contentedness
that this tale could ever be true.
But I have a story
of sadness and glory
the Ballad of Simon and Meetoo.

In an ancient land
an uncivilized band
of raiders held captive the East.
From the mountains they came
full of hunger and blame
desperate to triumph and feast.

The people below
lived peaceful and slow
led by a lovely young Queen.
She kissed her guard’s head
when he hit the ground dead
felled by a raider unseen.

The Lord of the horde
bellowed and roared
when the Lady refused to be his.
She sat down and cried
for the people who died
and he wondered if hate’s all there is.

The Lord made a vow
a promise for now
that peace would come to this place.
But it came with a price
her hand would suffice
so the veil hid the tears on her face.

When their love was still young
their praises were sung
for the winter was suddenly mild.
People ate well
and rumours would tell
that the Lady was blessed with a child.

Very few knew
she gave birth to two
sons of a powerful man.
One of them thrived
one barely survived
and to save him she secretly ran.

She had rescued the one
gentle young son
unfit for the making of war.
He would always be small
loving to all
and knew that he wanted no more.

The Lord’s strong son
training begun
perfected the art of attack.
Sent to destroy
he would always enjoy
the journey to battle and back.

On a cool summer’s day
quiet and grey
the raiders tore families apart.
The gentle son’s town
was burned to the ground
which melted his brother’s steel heart.

The warrior boy
knowing no joy
in destruction and violence and hate,
Turned to his brother
and forgotten young mother
hoping it wasn’t too late.

From out of the mist
a Sorcerer hissed
I bring a blessing and curse to these men.
Brothers together
now and forever
to die and be reborn again.

When the brothers awoke
a distant voice spoke
any soul can choose to be free.
Transformed into birds
by the Sorcerer’s words
they wondered what else they would be.

They’ve travelled the seas
as dolphins and bees
born each time in a form that is new.
Now kittens, behold!
The legend is told
the Ballad of Simon and Meetoo.

The Long Weekend Approaches

Ahh, Friday.

The snow is falling, and melting, and will probably freeze again for maximum unsafeness.

What are you guys up to for the long weekend?

I need to get my hands on some interesting crafting supplies to complete Toni's birthday present. Most pressing - a large sheet of paper. Maybe 3 feet long? Anybody?

Also, I believe we might see a movie tonight. For only the cost of one kidney and some bone marrow, I might also swing for popcorn. Who knows?

Have a great Friday everybody!
Roz